Previous England skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the illness.
"There's a certain facing the future and not wanting to really process that at the moment," he commented.
"It isn't that I don't understand where it's going. We understand that. But there is certainly a hesitation to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "calm" as he focuses on his current welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the disease worsens.
"Possibly that's surprise or possibly I deal with matters in another way, and when I have the facts, it's easier," he added.
Early Indications
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his shoulder while working out in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the condition, a number of scans showed neural pathways in his brain and spinal cord had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're rightly extremely emotional about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't sense unwell. I don't sense poorly
"My symptoms are very minor. I have some muscle deterioration in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be competent to accomplishing all activities. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Disease Progression
MND can progress rapidly.
According to the charity MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a one-third of people within a twelve months and over half within two years of identification, as swallowing and respiration become more difficult.
Therapy can only retard worsening.
"It's never me that I am upset for," stated an affected Moody.
"There's grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Consequences
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he discussed telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two brilliant boys and that was quite devastating," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced licking the moisture off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody explained the focus was staying in the present.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be very militantly directed on just welcoming and enjoying each moment now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been very lucky that the sole determination I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Sportsman Connection
Top-level athletes are unevenly impacted by MND, with investigations indicating the incidence of the illness is up to sixfold higher than in the wider community.
It is believed that by restricting the O2 accessible and producing damage to nerve cells, consistent, strenuous physical activity can activate the disease in those previously genetically susceptible.
Rugby Career
Moody, who won 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in honour of his fearless, unwavering approach to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a workout scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a training equipment and began throwing himself into collisions.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the back of the throw-in in the critical phase of play, setting a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop-goal.
Support Community
Moody has already informed Johnson, who led England to that championship, and a few other previous colleagues about his condition, but the rest will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"We'll have a period when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the present, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are there is what's important," he said.
"This game is such a great community.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it ended now, I've enjoyed all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your enthusiasm your career, it's one of the most significant blessings.
"Achieving this for so considerable a period with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I know they will wish to assist in every way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
